Customer Complaint Letter of the Day

Posted in ephemera on March 6th, 2013 by Rick

This letter came to our company support email (mistakenly, I should add), forwarded twice by the original author when he couldn’t find the correct place to send it. I note with some astonishment the sheer number of establishments he has tried.

I’ve redacted personal and business names and email addresses, but it is otherwise exactly as we received it:

From: XXXXX XXXXX XXXX THE ANOINTED <xxxxxxxxx@xxxxxx.xxx>
To: “xxxxxxxxx@state.co.us” <xxxxxxxxxx@state.co.us>
Sent: Sunday, March 3, 2013 10:22 AM
Subject: MEDICAL MARIJUANA DISPENSERIES

 

TO: THE STATE OF COLORADO MEDICAL MARIJUANA REGISTRY
FROM: XXXXX XXXXX XXXX
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
BOULDER, COLORADO xxxxx
xxx-xxx-xxxx
xxx-xxx-xxxx
RED CARD #: xxxxxxxxxxxx
    I ASK IS THEIR ANY TYPE OF LAW ENFORCEMENT THAT IS DIRECTLY ASSOCIATED WITH MEDICAL MARIJUANA DISPENSARIES? I HAVE BEEN FINDING THE QUALITY OF THE MEDICAL MARIJUANA BEING OFFERED TO ME AT THE VARIOUS  BOULDER DISPENSARIES, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE FRESH BAKED THAT I NAMED AS A CARE GIVER, TO BE VERY INTENTIONALLY SUB PAR!
    MUCH OF WHAT I HAVE PURCHASED SINCE JOINING THE REGISTRY HAS TASTED LIKE AND POSSES UNSAVORY SMELLS OF CIGARETTES AND ASH TRAYS, STOOLS INCLUDING THOSE OF FROM CATS, URINE, EJACULATION, CHEMICALS AND WHAT NOT!! A VERY UN CLEAN DEFILED FEELING EMANATES FROM MOST OF WHAT I HAVE ACQUIRED! I BELIEVE THAT MOST OF IT HAS BEEN SOAKED IN VARIOUS EVIL SOLUTIONS, AFTER IT HAS BEEN CURED, AND THEN ALLOWED TO DRY BEFORE BEING SOLD TO ME FOR THE PURPOSE OF WEAKENING THE STRENGTH OF THE MARIJUANA, RUINING THE TASTE, PHYSICALLY HARMING ME SUCH AS MY BONES, BRAIN, AND EYE SIGHT THROUGH THE CHEMICALS, DEFILING ME AND FOR THE PURPOSE OF SO CALLED “RIPPING ME OFF”!! I KID YOU NOT!!
    I HAVE PURCHASED FROM BOULDER MEDICAL MARIJUANA DISPENSARY <redacted>, <redacted>, <redacted>,  <redacted>, <redacted>, <redacted>, <redacted>, <redacted>, <redacted>, <redacted>, <redacted>, <redacted>,  <redacted> AND <redacted>!!!
I BELIEVE THAT OTHERS HAVE HAD THE SAME EXPERIENCE AND MAY HAVE CONTACTED YOU AS I AM, ALREADY!
    WHAT CAN BE DONE? PLEASE ADVISE! I THANK YOU FOR ANY AND ALL ASSISTANCE THAT YOU PROVIDE ME WITH THIS TROUBLING AND ILLICIT MATTER!
SINCERELY,
XXXXX XXXXXX XXXX

 

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Mini-review: Riffs Boulder

Posted in Uncategorized on February 14th, 2013 by Rick

I am not a huge fan of Valentine’s Day. My wife, after 25 years of marriage and 30 years together with me, has mostly accepted my desire not to make too big a fuss over the holiday. I do try to be extra-nice on February 14–I shaved today, for instance–but we usually don’t go out or exchange much in the way of presents (she did send me an absolutely appalling email with a Valentine’s-themed Transformers pun).

So it was just by chance that we needed to go the Boulder Bookstore tonight to get a couple of school books for the kids, and so used it as an occasion to have dinner at Riffs, which is located in the space formerly occupied by the Boulder Bookstore Cafe. It’s the second time we’ve been there, and I think we’ll probably be putting it on the rotation of favorite casual date-night restaurants in town.

I don’t see so well, as y’all know, so I can’t tell you much (anything) about the decor, but I can tell you that the noise level was pretty reasonable for a Pearl Street joint, and the service was professional, polite, and no bullshit.

I don’t remember what we had the last time we were there, though it must have been in August, since I do remember something with grilled or roasted peaches. Tonight’s menu was similarly seasonal, with lots of winter squashes and root vegetables. We started with a plate of bread with white bean spread, heavy with garlic and a bit of crunchy finishing salt (that Bonnie and I did remember from last time, which is why we ordered it).

For the meal, we shared three dishes: a plate of salmon-potato croquettes, nice and crispy, finished with lemon and a variant of tartar sauce ; a winter salad with shredded squash, nuts, kale, and parmesan; and hanger steak with roasted parsnips, sautéed greens, horseradish, and a stout reduction. Everything was good, the steak was outstanding. I am not usually a fan of parsnips, but these were as sweet as carrots with the texture of a firm roasted potato. Really, really good.

We didn’t order dessert–too full–but they brought us a couple of half-strawberries dipped in dark chocolate for Valentine’s Day, so that was very nice.

Prices about what you’d expect for a Pearl Street restaurant. Not cheap, but not The Boulder Cork, either.

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