Fat Man/Fit Town

Unfortunately, I won’t actually possess an iPhone for a couple of weeks.

Pre-ordered (and paid for) the object of my gadget lust at the AT&T store in Boulder. They say 10-20 days for delivery. I could have tried Monday morning at the Apple Store, but, since we’re switching to a new family cell phone plan, it seemed like slightly less hassle to do everything in one place.

I know, I know. “Boys and their toys.” I have a 21 year old television, not a single console game, and this will be my first cell phone that is more than a device for making phone calls.

Also, my visual impairment means I can’t have a sports car for a mid-life crisis. This is cheap compared to one of those. Right?

Update (22 July 2008): It’s already here! Only 3 days! Not bad. AT&T has earned a small measure of goodwill, which they will no doubt sacrifice at some point in the not too distant future, if reports are to be believed. Won’t be able to pick it up until tomorrow, unfortunately. But, well, yippee!!

According to recent figures, women earn only about 3/4 of what men earn. With today’s skyrocketing budget shortfalls, there is tremendous incentive to save around $100,000 by hiring Hillary Clinton to be the next President. On the other hand, the black-white income gap is even worse, so we could probably save even more by hiring Barack Obama.

Once or twice a week for the last couple of months, I have gotten an appeal from the Republican National Committee to renew my (non-existent) membership. I’ve decided to transcribe the latest letter, with my own annotations (in italics)…

Dear Friend, [How sweet of you to refer to me thus, but I don’t believe we’ve met.]

I don’t want to beleve you’ve abandoned the Republican Party, but I have to ask…Have you given up? [Abandonment implies a prior relationship. I gave up on the Republicans when they aligned themselves with theocrats. Around the time of Ronald Reagan.]

Our records show we have not yet received you Republican National Committee membership renewal for the critical 2008 presidential election year. [Don’t hold your breath.]

As the Treasurer of the RNC, I know our Party’s success depends directly on grassroots leaders like you. [You’d really better hope not, or you’re screwed.]

So I am surprised and concerned especially because I know how generously you supported President Bush and the RNC in the past. You helped to advance our vision for America and elect Republicans at all levels of government. [I have never, in 25 years of voting, supported a Republican for any office. Then again, I have lived in states with some of the most extreme and vile of the Party’s wing nuts (the “mainstream” of today’s party, sadly). Had I lived in the right place, I could have voted for a reasonable GOP candidate. Let’s see… Jim Jeffords (you drove him out), Christine Todd Whitman (left the Bush EPA in frustration), Lincoln Chafee (defeated because of the executive and legislative incompetence of his fellow Republicans), or one of the Senators from Maine (bless their hearts, still trying to fix the Party from within–best of luck to them, but I think it’s a losing battle).]

I know other things come up, and perhaps you’ve just been delayed in renewing your membership. If that’s the case, I understand. [At the rate you’re going, the delay will last just a wee bit longer. Check back for the 2020 election season, and I’ll think about it again.]

But we’ve not heard from you this year–and I hope you haven’t deserted our Party. [Again, you use a word that implies a prior relationship. Facts are your friends. Oh, wait, you’re a Republican. Facts are the enemy. Bummer for you.]

Your generous financial assistance and active involvement are more important than ever as we work to elect a new Republican president and Congress. [Again, if you’re depending on *my* support, you’re screwed.]

There is so much at stake. The Democrats are determined to put a liberal like Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama in the White House, expand their narrow majorities in the U.S. House and Senate, and push our countyr to the Left with their agenda of high taxes, big government and wekeed national security. [May it come to pass speedily, in our day. Truly, the Democrats are suffering from an embarrassment of riches with our candidates this year. Even the ones who dropped out were far superior to any of your lot. Mike Gravel would be a far better president than GWB (who admittedly has set the bar pretty low).]

Big Labor, radical liberal protest groups and Hollywood elites are planning to spend more than $50 million to defeat Republicans and aid the Democrat power grab. [Which would be so much worse than Big Oil, radical fundamentalist protest groups (Fred Phelps, anyone), and Mel Gibson, right?]

The RNC relies on the voluntary support of Republican activists like you. [You really are screwed then.]

That’s why I urgently need you to renew your RNC membership for 2008 with a contribution of $25, $50 or even $100. [Thanks for reminding me to send in my pledge to the DNC.]

The men and women who will represent us in this year’s elections are hard at work building strong campaigns. [Hope they’re keeping their resumes polished for afterwards.]

And so is the RNC. We are doing our part to provide the research, staff support, voter registration, volunteer recruitment and training, and direct financial assistance our candidates need to win. [You might try letting them run as Independents this year. They might have better luck.]

The RNC is also the ONLY Republican organization permitted by federal law to directly support our presidential nominee. [But you do have the Swift Boaters for a really nasty backup plan.]

If we fail to hold the White House and make gains in Congress, the Democrats have made clear they will overturn every reform you helped President Bush achieve. [Which reforms? Making torture legal? Holding citizens without charges for years? Spying on the people? Subverting the power of the Legislature (which you controlled for most of his term, BTW) through signing statements? Cutting taxes on the rich, while cutting services to the poor? Hampering scientific research in the name of sectarian religious ideals? I’m wracking my brains trying to think of something I want to keep.]

Democrat presidential candidates and the Reid/Pelosi-run-Congress have promised to repeal the Bush tax cuts, retreat from the War on Terror and increase the size of government through their one-size-fits-all health care plan. [God forbid that everyone should have health insurance, thus spreading the risk. Remember, the mainstream Democratic candidates aren’t advocating single-payer or socialized medicine. They just want everyone to be covered. By private insurers. Not ideal, but better than the uninsured going bankrupt and having the taxpayers cover all their medical bills (because that reduces the size of government, uh-huh).]

We cannot allow them to succeed! That’s why your renewed commitment is so important. [I agree with you, if you replace “succeed” with “fail”, and add “to the Democrats” after the word committment.]

So if you have delayed in renewing your membership because you feel the RNC has let you down, or no longer needs you, please let me know. I want to hear from you. [Will this post do?]

Just include your comments and suggestions with the enclosed Membership Confirmation and return them with your 2008 membership renewal check. You can also renew by calling [Number deleted] or via our secure website at [Link deleted].

[I think I’ll just post some snarky comments on the Internet.]

But please don’t turn your back on our Republican candidates running for office from the Courthouse to the White House: They are counting on your support. Renew your RNC membership today. Thank you. [When the Republicans can return to some sensible middle ground on issues, I will turn around partway to face them without a look of disdain on my face. Until then, enjoy the view of my shoulder blades.]

Sincerely,
Tim Morgan
RNC Treasurer

When we purchased our Subaru wagon 10 years ago, we thought that it would be a lovely idea to add the winter package to it, this being Colorado and all.  Included in said option are seat warmers for the front seats.  They do come in handy on frostier days.  We have lately been trying to come up with as many nicknames for these trusty devices as we can possibly think of.  Here’s our list so far

Inspired by some of my favorite family-produced podcasts (see the sidebar at right), my daughter and I have dipped our toes into the water. Two very amateurish episodes so far, but some (I think) funny and interesting moments. I think we’ll get better as we (I) learn what the heck we’re (I’m) doing.

The BoulderFaD Podcast

We hope you’ll check it out (and be patient).

Sigh. I loathe Comcast, but I can’t do anything about it. So I’ll just rant.

Seems that, without much notice that I recall, Comcast has begun to drop stations from their analog lineup. “Who uses analog anymore?,” you may reasonably ask. I do, for one. I’ve never found the digital cable thing to be a compelling reason to spend yet more money with them. Besides, our TV is so old (20 years) that digital cable will improve our picture quality not one little bit.

So I try to look on their appalling website (to which I refuse to link) for pricing info for a digital upgrade. Can’t do it. The website is completely broken for the purposes of checking prices or ordering services. They provide internet services, but can’t manage their own website. It is for shame.

So I call. Phone rep is polite. When I tell him about the website, he tells me they never go to it, because it is so useless. Great. So, as you take away my channels, do you plan to lower my monthly fee? He laughs. Digital cable is only a dollar more per month. Plus $15 installation fee.

I express my deep chagrin that I am being forced to “upgrade” and pay for the privilege. He says nothing, and moments later, my cell phone drops the call. I don’t bother to call back.

The icing on the cake is that last Fall I bought a dual-tuner TiVo with a 3-year contract. But the TiVo box can only record from one digital signal (plus one analog). But if there are no analog stations, I am down to a single-tuner box. I feel cheated.

I know, I should suck it up and buy a new TV, upgrade to digital, and get one of the nifty Series 3 TiVo boxes with dual digital capability. But I’m cheap, and I don’t wanna.

Why can’t I keep my analog channels on cable? (I know about the broadcast conversion, but this is CABLE, not broadcast).

Feh.

I mentioned earlier that I am legally blind. There are a couple of ways to be defined that way. One is that your visual acuity is not correctable with glasses beyond a certain level. That’s not my problem. I fall into the other category of legal blindness. That is, I have a visual field of less than 20 degrees. These days, quite a bit less than that, but I haven’t had it measured in a while. I have retinitis pigmentosa, a term that refers to a constellation of degenerative diseases, all characterized by slow death of the light sensing cells of the retina.

I have a fairly typical case. I was diagnosed when I was in my early 20s, and, while the disease is caused by defective genes, there is no family history. My symptoms are classic. My night vision is extremely poor, and getting worse, and my mid-peripheral vision is pretty well shot. Oddly, I still have a little vision in the extreme periphery, but, believe me, it’s pretty much useless. I gave up driving at night in my mid-20s, and completely when I was about 31. Gave up the bicycle a few years after that (post a couple of bike-bike accidents), and now walk or take public transit when I need to travel alone. I still have good enough central that I can read in decent light, and I can use a computer more or less without any accessibility aids, although I do prefer light-on-dark color schemes for writing code (which is what I do for a living).

I carry a white cane for identification when I am in unfamiliar or crowded locations. It says to those around me, “STAND CLEAR! THIS LARGE MAN CANNOT SEE YOU, AND WILL CRASH INTO YOU IF YOU DO NOT GET THE HECK OUT OF THE WAY!” Quite useful really. But I think it throws people off that I can clearly see a little. It’s sometimes an interesting conundrum to decide just how blind to “act.” Sometimes, I can seem so sighted that people forget that I can’t see anything I’m not looking at directly, and hilarity may therefore ensue. But if I act too blind, people can try to help so much that I feel a little embarrassed, or at least get my pride wounded a bit. I’ll keep trying to strike the balance, but I know that, eventually, there won’t really be much balance left to strike.

Didn’t mean to sound self-pitying. I have a great life, despite my visual impairment, but wanted to explain a little what my situation is in this regard.

So, yes indeed, I am a fat man. Just about 100 kg, in fact. I like that number so much better than 220 lbs. I suppose 16 stone is even better in the “smaller numbers are better” sorta way. But only the English use stone as a unit of weight, and I am not English. At my height, this puts me just on the boundary between merely “overweight” and the horrible “obese”. Earlier this year, I went on the first diet of my life, and successfully went from the upper 230s to the lower 210s, but have gained back a bit. I must go back on the diet, as my goal is to reach the magic 200, which would make me much healthier in the long run. I do like food, though, and I may do some restaurant reviewing at some point.

In contrast to my general out-of-shapeness, I live in the fitness mecca of Boulder, Colorado. Everyone here (it seems) is lean and fit. Runners, cyclists, rollerbladers, skiiers, climbers, and hikers abound. I am not at all outdoorsy, so this is somewhat disconcerting to me. I do walk to and from work (35 minutes each way), but only because I don’t have much choice. The buses don’t run conveniently from home to work, and I am legally blind, so I can’t drive. More on blindness in a future post.

This is certainly not all there is about me, but I wanted to explain the choice of titles for the blog.

And now I have a blog I don’t know what to do with.

I will consider, and get back to you.